Self-doubt plays a huge factor on people’s ability to reach their goals.
It is natural to question yourself whenever you try and change your current situation.
One of the doubts that people have is failure.
“What will happen if I fail?”
One of the biggest fears that people have when it comes to failure is how they will look to others.
- They worry about what other people will say if they fail.
- The embarrassment they will feel if it were to happen.
- The feeling of being under scrutiny and a topic of negative conversations.
These are all things that can stop people from starting, as it is easier and more comfortable to stay the same.
If what you are trying to do, will change you and your situation for the better, you have to ask yourself;
‘Who are you trying to please?’
I have had this conversation many times with clients and members.
Worrying about what others will think about you is pointless.
Especially if those people would take pleasure in your failures.
Why worry about someone who would take pleasure in you failing at your goal?
- That person isn’t your friend
- That person isn’t there to help you.
- That person isn’t going to give you any support in your journey
- That person needs to be removed from your life.
Here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter whether that person is a family member or a friend, if they only live to put you down and to belittle you, it’s time for them to go.
Harsh, but believe me, you will feel a thousand times better when they are gone.
One thing that you will have to decipher though, is whether you are getting constructive criticism or if the person is being negative.
Not all criticism will be negative, you may have someone who has been down your path before and has made some of the mistakes that comes with the journey to your goals.
This can be invaluable feedback and could prevent you from making mistakes that could cost you time and effort.
However, if you feel that the person is being negative because you are progressing faster than they are, or maybe you have gotten further down the road than they have in the past, you may need to disengage yourself from what they are saying.
Give neutral responses to them that are positive in nature as they won’t expect that kind of response and if they see that their negative comments are not deterring you from your goal, they will eventually get fed up and move on.
From time to time you will get someone who is persistent, simply because they get some sort of weird pleasure from knocking others down.
With someone like this, if the neutral responses do not work, you may need to get assertive and a bit blunt with them, and tell them to kindly mind their own business. (get blunter if that doesn’t work).
The main thing that you must do, is start.
Why haven’t you done it yet?
It’s very easy to get bogged down in ‘paralysis by analysis’.
You spend so much time thinking about what you should do and all the possible pitfalls that may come along the way, that you never actually act on this and start.
Whatever your goal – start!
Do it now.
Don’t wait until the start of the week, as this will give you more time to talk yourself out of it.
It doesn’t matter what others think, and yes, that is easy for me to say.
One of the reasons that it is easy, is because I’ve been there and done that numerous times in both my training and business.
If I stopped every time someone gave me some ‘concerned’ advice, I wouldn’t be in business right now.
If I gave up every time I failed at something, I’d still be working for other people.
If I hadn’t travelled to Dublin to do my course, I’d still be a statistic of the housing crash and another number on the live register.
Do I still get the same anxieties when I start something new?
Of course, I do.
But I have learned to use this as motivation and it drives me forward.
If you are currently stuck, use the tips below to help you to get ‘unstuck’.
- Think about the problem. (is there actually a problem?)
- Ask For help (talk to people who have been here already)
- Find easy solutions (is there an easier way to do this?)
- Turn a negative into a positive (don’t dwell on the negatives, how many positive can you find in your journey so far?)
- Change your environment (do you need to change where you are to progress?)
- Give yourself time (don’t set unrealistic goals. Have a main goal and steps in place to take you there)
I’ll leave you with a quote from Gary Vee (follow him of you don’t already)
“All your ideas may be solid or even good .. But you have to Actually EXECUTE on them for them to matter.” – Gary Vaynerchuk